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Ukulele Queen

by Blankets for Laura

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1.
I am sorry Pittsburgh I don't mean to be ungrateful but I think it's time we part now that I am able and I am sorry friends I don't meant to sound hateful but I went away and changed and now I'm able to leave
2.
I sometimes leave the house without looking in the mirror people tell me how brave I am but I don't feel that superior it's one part forgetfulness and two parts I don't care and about twenty parts I'm afraid to look at my own skin or my own hair but I'm too lazy for makeup and too poor for the salons so I'll spend my money on pizza spend my mornings writing songs how many times have I been late cause of my ukulele and lied about how far I was sending messages I was faking I show up to basements where half the people hate me and half of those will come up to me and tell me I'm amazing I'll sing songs about myself but always in relation to you and you won't be there but you'll hear about it soon I'm planning my return as the ukulele queen like I can just forget about all the times you were so mean maybe I deserved it, but I can no longer tell every thought gets second guessed cause I can't trust myself like every dude I've fallen for is horrible for me or horrible to everyone or maybe it's just to me and it's nice to be told that I deserve to be loved but you use that as an excuse to destroy all you touch and how do people put up with that, I don't have a clue but I just do my best so that I don't end up like you I'm planning my return as the ukulele queen like I can just forget about all the times you were so mean I promise to return as your ukulele queen but I will not forget about the times you were so mean to me, oh no
3.
Bathrobes 03:06
have you ever gotten spooked by random stuff in your room in the dark like junk piled on the floor or your bathrobe hanging from the door I don't own a bathrobe anymore but maybe if I did I'd be less of a horrible person and I know I'm twenty something (in March) but it's not over it's not even started have you ever gotten down lower then the creepy little bugs in the ground look I know this doesn't really help but it's get better maybe seven on a scale from one to hell oh goodbye, I'm standing next to the door ready to fight or fly and I'm old (older than a baby) but it's not over it's not even late yet and I don't have a driver's license I have take my passport to the bars but I am not particularly bothered I always had a fear of driving cars I don't like to brush my hair so I cut it off instead I don't like most of the people that I know but it's harder to cut off friends and I know I am twenty something (in March) but it's not over it's not even started and I am old (but I am still a baby) and it's not over it's not even late yet nah it's not over it's not even started
4.
morning routine brush my hair brush my teeth put on chapstick swallow pills put on backpack go to school talk to friends sit in class pretend to listen but I can't go to lunch go to class go insane talk to friends go home and do my homework and after today there willl be tomorrow you wait for me over there but I don't care poetry I like to write it and I like to sing I like to fight and I like to cry, I try to sleep through the whole night I am alone I am just fine I'm really happy that's not a lie this really is my real life I can't believe it's not a lie I still got problems I can feel em they're in my head and I can see em but I turned the volume down and after today there will be tomorrow you wait for me over there but I don't care
5.
something about disposable cameras feel more genuine feels closer to truth or am I just waxing poetic about nothing important well isn't that likely and you were amazing the way that technology can be I found in you the things that I need but needing a person is no good for happiness and I would hate to disappoint my therapist I've got a void to fill so I fill it like this full of sand and ocean and the crumbs that hide in the bottom of my purse well some things just won't ever leave you and thank goodness for that and when it ends I'll be stuck in the heart of a rock and a hard place that's difficult to find between back and forward is unpleasant feelings that guarantee me I will be alone surrounded by people who want to take it easy but I never made it easy on them I want memories different from the ones that I have but I know very well I can't say that so I will take my photos I want to feel closer to truth

credits

released September 22, 2015

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Blankets for Laura Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Blankets for Laura is the mostly defunct solo music project of Shay Park. She now makes music with Soda Club. facebook.com/sodaclubpgh

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